Friday, 23 October 2009

• The slippery slope of a squeaky step

  It has taken me over 12 years to realize that the second step from the top of our stairs squeaks. 
  
  I'm not sure why it was such a delayed observation.  Until recently, I was always under the impression that the  top section of the stairs was noisy, but it's not the top of the stairs in the generic sense.  It's just that one particular step. 

  So, now, logically, I try to avoid that step.  I go out of my way to step over it on my way up the stairs.  I step to the far side of it on my way down the stairs.  (I would just avoid it entirely going down as well, but I'm afraid of slipping and falling and cracking my head open on the floor below.) 
  
  I'm not really sure why I want so badly to avoid making the step squeak.  I think it may be a manifestation of my desire to me a super-awesome-secret-spy-type-person.  I don't want people hearing me because, secretly, I want to be able to sneak up on them.  I don't actually want to sneak up on them; I just want to be able to.  It's about keeping my options open. 
  
  Frankly, avoiding the squeaky step may be the beginning of a slippery slope.  First it's squeaky step avoidance maneuvers, but soon it will be crawling military style under barbed wire fences while avoiding the telltale beams of search lights.  And really, that's not too far away from wearing a stunning but slinky evening gown, prepared to charm top secret details out of an enemy government's official, all the while mindful of the dagger strapped to my upper thigh...

  Central Intelligence Agency, here I come.
  
  

  • 12:49 AM
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