I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils,
Beside the lake, beneath the trees
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: -
A poet could not but be gay
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -and gazed -but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills
And dances with the daffodils.

You've gotta love Wordsworth.

I'm doomed.

No, don't laugh.  It's true.  And do you want to know how I know this?  Do you?  (You know you do...I'm just screwing with you.)

Because the media tells me so.

A few years back, one of my good friends and I were comparing ourselves to well-known, female, protagonists in the movies, and our observations led me to that very simple conclusion: doomed. 

(I tried to find a clip of C-3PO proclaiming doom to emphasize my point...but alas.)

My position:
I'm about to graduate with my English MA (and studied English and Communications as an undergrad).  I write and plan on going into a writing/editing/communications related field.  I'm shyish around boys who I'm into.  I'm nerdy.  I wasn't particularly popular in high school.   I haven't found much success with the dating game.

You know what happens to women like me in movies? 

 

The Holiday:

Kate Winslet's character: a beautiful, talented writer in her thirties heartsick over a jerk who doesn't deserve her.  Things have been...rocky for her.  Now, this woman spent the whole of her twenties sucking at relationships, but this is not what she pictured for her life. 

Of course, now that she's thirty, she makes a decision that changes her fate, meets a nice guy, and everything is MAGICAL.

Moving on...

Bridget Jones's Diary.

Bridget: a lovely, if slightly unbalanced, woman who works in publishing.  She, too, is heartsick over a guy who totally doesn't deserve her.  Now in her thirties, she makes a decision to overhaul her life, and, though her past relationship luck is nothing to write home about, she suddenly finds herself the object of two men's affection.

Of course, after realizing which of the men is right for her, she makes a decision, runs into the street in her underwear, has a dreamy kiss with the perfect guy, and everything is MAGICAL.  (Until she hits the edge of reason, but that's another topic entirely.)

And, we continue...

Music and Lyrics
(You'll notice a lot of actor overlap in this list...it's a coincidence...)

Here we have Sophie, a wonderfully talented, beautiful, well-trained writer, roughly age thirty.  She was damaged by her previous relationships, and now undervalues, among other things, her talent. 

Then she meets a nice guy who encourages her in her talents (albeit, initially for selfish reasons), and she decides to go for it.  Then, of course, everything falls into place, and things get MAGICAL.

Are we sensing a trend?



Never Been Kissed

She beautiful, but she doesn't realize it.  She's talented, but they won't give her a chance at work.  (Of course, at work, they don't realize what a brilliant writer she is, so her boss wants her to remain a copy editor.) 

Then, when she's nearly thirty, a wonderful accident puts her in an unexpected situation wherein she gains confidence and meets a gorgeous man who happens to be totally into her.  It's MAGICAL.

FINALLY (though I really could go on...)

Kate & Leopold

She's beautiful.  She's talented.  She's recently out of a failed LTR.  She works in a "communications" job.  She's in her thirties.  A series of unlikely events involving the time-space continuum lead her to her perfect guy. 

And, you guessed it,
It's totally MAGICAL.

(Other examples that I'm not going to detail: Miss Potter, Alex and Emma (that one, incidentally, works both ways), You've Got Mail, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, and Someone Like You.)

So, you wonder, what's the problem?  All of these women end up with a great guy.

The problem is that they all suck at relationships for a really long time.  The problem is that, if I use these to judge, I should plan to settle in for a rough seven or so years. 

Of course, after that...

Magic 

At about the age that girls become "women" (11, 12, 13...around there), they start hearing jokes about "the time of the month" from boys who are not yet men.  So, even in junior high, if you're having a bad day, you have to put up with period jokes.  Then you get older, and some boys grow up.  Some are still morons.  Some...just get all squirmy.  I started thinking about it this month, because this month was special in a hilarious kind of way, and I thought I'd do my good deed for the day and fill all of you "Y" chromosome humans in.

1 & 2: Moody:  Ok, you're right.  Some of us get moody.  Some of us get really moody.  There are a few things you need to realize about this.  First, while we might get snippy because of hormones, true anger indicates that something really pissed us off.  We may be overreacting, but don't dismiss.  Second, again, even given hormones, most of us can control the moodiness, even if that means being a little anti-social.  

3: Cramps: Not all of us get them, but they are real, and they can hurt like hell.  

4. Midol: Fixes a few symptoms; it's not a magic elixir. 

5. Cravings are real.  Most of the girls I know will just about eat themselves stupid during PMS.    

6. If we say that we feel fat, it's because of water weight.  Probably about five pounds worth.  You will not notice this, but it will make all of our clothes fit a little different.  It's frustrating.  If it takes us longer to get ready because we've rejected nearly every outfit in our closets, be compassionate.

7. Don't make jokes.  We can make jokes, but you can't.  Mostly, this is because you don't know what it's like to bleed for nearly a week.  One of those, you gotta be in the club things.